Hitting a Wall

My tolerance for relationship BS has grown dangerously thin. When in disharmony with The Boy, I find myself picking at the minutiae of the issue to try to get my point across. He complains about the time spent discussing the issue, and I complain because he doesn't seem to "get it" unless I take it apart at the molecular structure and lead him through it by the nose, step by step, confirming his understanding at each interval.

Example:

Me: X means X. I meant X. That's why I said X.
Him: Well, if you really meant X, then you should have been clearer.
Me: How can I be clearer than saying X and meaning X?
Him: Well, when you said X, I thought you meant X plus Y.
Me: Did I say X plus Y?
Him: No
Me: Then it's your fault for inferring Y! I didn't say Y!
Him: But if it were me, I would say X plus Y, not just X. You need to be clearer.
Me: What you would say has nothing to do with what I DID say! You make this up in your head and then punish me for not doing/saying what you think I should do/say instead of listening and understanding what I DID do/say! I was clear! I said X. I meant X. It's not my fault you brought Y into it from your own head!

And on it goes. So I have to break down in steps what X means, even though X clearly means X. I said X. I meant X. X is a series of clearly defined English words that are not ambiguous.

I find it ironic that in past arguments he has gotten upset that I can't just let what he said mean what he said and understand there's no hidden meaning. So why can't he see that's what he's doing to me??

I'm tired. I'm tired of the hours of conversational breakdown and analysis it takes for us to get past an argument. I'm tired of the resentment I feel much of the time because it seems harder and harder for us to have a simple conversation. And I wonder more and more if that means we're ultimately not compatible. But I can't even bring that up because mentioning breaking up or not being right for each other is a cardinal sin. According to him, it's manipulation to get my own way - bring up breaking up, and I automatically win the argument because he doesn't want to lose me. So, I can't be honest because it's manipulative. There goes that Y inference again. It can't possibly be because I have real doubts - it's because I want to manipulate him into acquiescence.

Again I say, I'm tired. But I can't say that to him, either.