This Is Where It Ends

No, I’m not talking about my relationship. I’m talking about Barenaked Ladies. I’m talking about the singer from whose song I stole the title of my blog. I’m talking about Mr. Steven Page.

See, Steve has left BNL. For the majority of the people (all 7 of you?) reading this blog, that statement means nothing. To me, it means everything. It’s Paul leaving the Beatles. It’s the Bulls without Michael Jordan. It’s nachos without all the gooey cheese.

Steve wasn’t the whole band. There are 4 other very fine, very talented, very cool individuals in the group who will carry the BNL banner. But Steve was a Voice. Not THE voice, as Ed did his fair share of vocals. But Steve was a unique part of the band’s sound. As much as I love Tyler, they could replace the drummer and the songs wouldn’t sound terribly different. Same with keyboards and bass. But when a vocalist leaves, the entire sound changes. Not only the songs Steve sang lead on, but also the harmony he provided on Ed’s. Even Paul McCartney commented that he and John Lennon couldn’t match the harmonies of Ed and Steve.

This is a band that I’ve built vacations around, have traveled to see, and represent a part of my life that while filled with turmoil, was also filled with hope. I found them at a time when I was going through a divorce, living on my own for the first time, and wondering what the hell I was going to do. They made me smile when I thought I couldn’t. Somehow, through their music and their onstage cohesiveness, they made me feel part of a family. I wasn’t worshipping rock stars from afar. I was a part of a welcoming community, just when I needed it most.

Of course there has been talk on the message boards about the whole situation and speculation as to when talk of the separation started. Of course, it’s logical that it started way before the cruise, and someone likened it to waiting until after Christmas to tell the kids you’re getting divorced. Which struck me, because that’s exactly what happened to me when my parents divorced. They told me the day after Christmas so they wouldn’t “ruin” it. And now the band told me a couple weeks after the cruise. I’m happy they waited. While knowing would have made everything more poignant, it also would have made everything much, much sadder. When we got back, a bunch of us threw out theories about what we thought was “off” with the band and why. We just didn’t expect to get confirmation so quickly. Yeah, Mom and Dad were fighting, but we hoped not to get that day after Christmas talk.

I wish Steve the best, I really do. I hope he gets everything he wants. And I hope Ed, Tyler, Jim and Kevin get what they want. But the thought of a new lead singer hurts right now. I’m not ready to see “Mom” with a new boyfriend.