Welcome to the Future

Lately, I’ve been feeling restless. Like I want to make a change. A big change. Something that’s just for me, that doesn’t involve anyone else.

Specifically, I’ve been thinking about getting my Masters. I have a Bachelors in Linguistics, but I’ve been thinking about going back and getting a degree in Speech-Language Pathology. What’s that, you ask? What is a speech-language pathologist? Basically, it’s the person who helps people with speech and hearing impediments learn to speak clearly, and also can work with people who have trouble processing language in the brain.

Sounds great, right? Well, there are pros and cons to it (as with most everything in life).

Pros

I could make more money

Right now, I’m kind of topped out in the executive assistant world. I could make a bit more money working for a private company, but I have nightmare visions of being the 60 year old gatekeeper to some upper management phony. That’s really not where I envisioned my life going when I was young and dreaming about the future.

An SLP makes around $61,000 a year, which is considerably more than I make right now, or could ever hope to make as an assistant. Granted, the reason is because more schooling and specialized knowledge is required.

I could work with kids

My specific interest in doing SLP is to work with kids who have speech impediments and/or aphasia. I’ve always leaned towards working with kids, but I learned early on that teaching wasn’t for me because I wasn’t comfortable with the discipline aspect. But doing SLP, I could really make a difference with kids, without being in a classroom setting.

Having grown up not being able to hear out of my right ear, I know what it’s like to have to work on hearing and speech. I really feel like that experience uniquely qualifies me for this type of work. I could be the nice person who helps them be able to speak, which in turn will make them feel better about themselves.

I love school

It sounds bizarre, but I do. I love learning new things. Yes, I’m competitive and driven. I made damn sure I graduated magna cum laude when I did my undergrad. But more than that, I love the academic setting. That’s part of the reason I love working at a university. Ideas excite me, and constantly challenging myself makes me happy. I thrive in situations where I know exactly what’s expected of me, and can excel.

This is something I can do for me

Going back to school is just for me. It’s not about finding a relationship or making anyone else happy. The focus is on me and what I want, and that’s what I need to concentrate on right now. My focus is not on things outside of me, like finding a boyfriend. It used to be. And it got me in trouble. Now, I’m only concerned with what I can DO to make myself happy – not waiting for someone else to do it for me.

Cons

It will take at least 4 years

Having not gotten my undergrad in SLP, I have to go back and take core classes before I’m technically even in the grad program. Once that happens, there are a lot of requirements (such as clinicals) that I’m going to have to complete. It’s a big time commitment. And 4 years is optimistic, if I take summer school classes. I need to figure out if I’m willing to commit that kind of time.

It won’t be cheap

Even with my fee waiver, I’m still looking at $3,000 per semester for a minimum of 9 semesters to cover tuition, fees and materials. That’s nearly $30,000 on top of the student loans I already have. Yes, the argument can be made that the difference in my earning potential will pay that off in just a few years. But debt like that is SCARY to me. It means I HAVE to see this all the way through, because I’m not going to pay thousands of dollars to go to school for a while, quit because I change my mind, and then have to pay back all that money with nothing to show for it.

It’s going to seriously affect my social life

Part of the reason I didn’t want to roll straight into a Masters was because I wanted time to have a relationship, get married, have kids. But that was based on the fact that I already had a boyfriend and we had plans. Except I found out that he had two sets of plans with two different girls. So my plans changed.

If I go back to school, I won’t have time for a serious relationship. When I’m in school, that’s where my focus is. The flip side of that is that if I eschew a serious relationship, I basically throw away my last remaining childbearing years. Ultimately, going back to school is saying that I’m giving up on motherhood. I know it’s not that cut and dried, but if I commit to 4 years in school, I’ll be in my forties by the time I’m done. If by some miracle I meet and marry a guy in the meantime and have kids, then school gets thrown by the wayside and I’m back to paying back student loans with nothing to show for it. Both scenarios scare the crap out of me.

Wow, putting it on paper, there are more (by one) pros than cons. Or maybe I just didn’t think hard enough to come up with another con. Either way, I’m going to attend a department orientation in mid-December. That will hopefully give me a concrete answer as to whether I want to pursue this. But truthfully, I’m a little excited. And nervous. And scared. It could be great. Or not.

To be continued.